A Hat for A Glow in the Dark Condom

I went over to my friend Zoekia's house last night. I had just got The Dark Knight and we were going to watch it in her basement. It's impossible to be in that basement without having something to eat. Seriously. So I brought along a couple packages of Ramen, and upon entering Zoe's house, I see her mom. Through a thick Liberian accent, she asked me what I had in the bag. I showed her the Ramen and she said "oh you don't need to bring food here?" she ends all of her sentences with a high pitch, unless she's angry, "this is a black house. If you want food and we have it, then you can eat it. If we don't have it, well, then, you can't eat it!" I nodded and took off my shoes.

Zoekia then appeared at the top of the stairs to the second floor. She's so adorable when she sees me. I showed her the Ramen and she grinned wider. I showed her The Dark Knight and I thought her face would break. She quickly went back up stairs to grab a blanket to wrap herself in... Then we rushed down to her basement blindly in the dark. I had to use my cell phone to light the steps for me so that I wouldn't trip and, like, die. I jumped onto the couch, Ramen still in my hands, as well as Watchmen, which I had also brought along.

About ten minutes into the movie, Zoekia's mom told us she was going out for a while. We were totally cool with that. Then, about 20 minutes into the movie, I proposed we go up and make use of all these Ramen packets(I had brought five). Grudgingly, Zoekia paused the movie and we flew upstairs. While we waited for the water to boil... We figured it fun to go and bother her sleeping sister, Jojamba. It wasn't.

So we meandered over back to the kitchen... On the way back, I noticed a hat on the table under the mirror. I put it on immediately after Zoe had told me she made it. Water still not boiling. Zoekia opened my right pocket and fished out a glow in the dark condom. She's seemingly endlessly amused by it. I ended up giving it to her in exchange for the hat.